In this blog post, I’ll explore why we continue to chase and wait for things even though we know we can’t get what we want in life.
I’ve had some reflections on my ordinary daily life. This summer break was a time when I was able to think deeply. Nothing special happened, but I felt a lot from those ordinary days. I’d like to write down some of the things that come to mind.
During the break, my daily routine consisted of taking a summer session class and working part-time at a cram school. I also went to the beach during the vacation season. And while I was back home resting, I met up with many friends. I also played soccer and basketball, just like I did in high school. I have a friend I’ve known since elementary school, and when I met up with him, we talked a lot about our lives. Whenever I talk with this friend, the song “That’s How It Was Back Then” always comes to mind. As we reminisce about the past, we often say things like, “Yeah, that’s right, it really was like that back then…” “Oh, that’s how it was back then…” The lyrics of this song, which begin with “We were so young, we didn’t know anything…,” make me feel like it’s perfect to sing right now.
When I think about the past, I realize that being young and ignorant actually had its good points. That’s because, no matter what I did, I’d just go ahead and do it without worrying or even thinking about whether it would be helpful to me. Nowadays, before doing anything, I worry about what might happen if I do it, and I weigh how important it is to me. Often, I end up just thinking about it and never acting. But before doing something, you can’t know what you’ll gain from it. So sometimes, I’ve just gone ahead and done things on a whim.
People often say it’s wise to hesitate or make a plan before starting something. When I was younger, I too had many experiences where I charged ahead blindly and failed, so now I tend to be cautious. But caution doesn’t always lead to good results. In fact, there were times when, caught up in my plans, I missed opportunities to make choices, and my determination to achieve something faded. That’s why sometimes, thinking simply and acting on impulse can lead to good results. Ultimately, what matters in life is that when I try something—whether the outcome is as expected or not—it propels me forward.
Sometimes, just like the lyrics of the song, “The world really isn’t easy…” everything in the world feels overwhelmingly difficult. At times like that, I usually meet up with friends, have a drink, forget my troubles, and start the next day anew. One day, feeling inexplicably restless, I reached out to a friend. As usual, we drank and chatted about this and that. We laughed as we reminisced about the past and worried about what lay ahead. As we were just talking about random things, I started wondering if there was anything we could do to escape our daily routines. That’s when I remembered a spontaneous trip I’d taken with friends before. We hadn’t decided where to go or what to do; we’d just agreed to meet at Tokyo Station. Once we gathered, we bought the fastest train tickets without a second thought and headed to Osaka. We went to Osaka and back, and it had its own unique excitement and fun. Thinking back on that time, I realized that whenever I wanted to get away, I never worried about whether to go or not, or where to go. So this time, I decided that if a place came to mind, just like back then, I wouldn’t overthink it—I’d just head there.
As we were brainstorming ideas, a friend suggested we go fishing. I’m not sure why, but it just felt like a good idea. Honestly, I was a little hesitant, but I decided to go along with the original plan. After hearing my friend say he’d contact me when he woke up the next day, I went home and fell asleep. When I woke up the next day, once the hangover wore off, I felt like yesterday’s conversation had just been drunken talk. It felt like I was the one who’d been reeled in like a fish, rather than going fishing. So I’d given up hope, but luckily, my friend got in touch. And that’s how we ended up going fishing.
It was a typical summer day with the sun blazing, but the breeze made it pleasant. As we drove out of the city, the heaviness in my heart seemed to lift somewhat. After driving for about an hour, we arrived at a reservoir on the outskirts of Tokyo around lunchtime. We visited an elderly man who ran a fishing spot my friend knew and received his guidance. We were going to fish from a floating platform on the reservoir. We loaded our fishing rods and other gear onto a small boat and rowed out to the platform. We unpacked our gear and got ready to fish. Just as we finished setting up, the old man from earlier brought us lunch. We ate first and then started fishing. We had to bait the hook with earthworms and cast it into the right spot, but since it was our first time, it didn’t go smoothly at first. With my friend’s help, it took a few tries before I could cast the rod reasonably well. Anyway, after casting the worm, we sat down and waited for the fish to bite. Maybe because it was my first time, I got a bit too eager. I wanted to catch a fish right away. We sat there for an hour or two, but since we were just sitting around, I got bored and even started thinking I shouldn’t have come. Still, my friend told me that waiting that long was nothing, so I decided to clear my mind and just wait. As I sat there with the intention of waiting patiently, the scenery around me caught my eye. It wasn’t anything spectacular, but gazing out at the open space without a single thought made me feel at ease.
I was chatting with my friend while waiting when suddenly the fishing rod began to shake. Before I knew it, I grabbed the rod, and there was a fish biting the worm. It was a small fish called a crucian carp, but to me, it wasn’t just any small fish. It was the first fish I had ever caught in my life.
That night, before falling asleep, I found myself lost in thought. The feeling I had when I reeled the fish in with the rod was an emotion I had never felt before, yet for some reason, it didn’t feel like the first time. As I recalled that feeling, it occurred to me to compare the act of gaining something in life to catching a fish while fishing. When fishing, just because you sit with your rod out, hoping to catch a fish, doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily reel one in. Similarly, in life, just because I want something and strive to get it doesn’t mean I’ll necessarily achieve it. Things don’t always go the way we want them to. Of course, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to achieve anything. Whether what we’re striving for is good grades, the recognition or affection of others, or money, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect before we pursue it. Sometimes, we simply can’t get what we want. We can’t have everything we desire. And before we can achieve something, we need not only effort but also patience.
Ever since that day when I compared life to fishing, I decided to slow down a little. I realized that constantly chasing results and living at a breakneck pace was wearing me out. From now on, I’ve resolved to approach everything with a sense of ease and to enjoy the small achievements along the way. Just as the long wait before catching a fish isn’t in vain, I’ve decided not to forget that life’s little moments are precious too.
